Tag Archives: marriage

I Married the Easter Bunny – The Epilogue

So Mark went back to New Mexico, I stayed at home until March while everything got re-arranged.  The USAF moves kinda like molasses, so they finally got our stuff moved and I finally went out there.  It was a big deal to me, as I had only lived at home my entire life and moving from the Greater Cincinnati area to Alamogordo, New Mexico was like moving from earth to the moon.  The anchor store in the mall was K-Mart.  But life in NM is a whole other story that I don’t have time for here.

We have had some down times, but honestly, I have to say that our life has been mostly up.  We are still, after all this time, best friends.  We’d rather be with each other than not.  We still have fun together and we still like each other, which from what I can tell from looking around is HUGE.  We still talk to each other, about everything.  We don’t keep secrets and if something is bothering one or the other of us, we talk about it BEFORE it becomes a problem.  He thinks of me before he does anything.  He even checks with me before he arranges work trips to make sure it is convenient for me and the family.  He is a good husband and a good father.  It is wonderful to know that my children and I are his first consideration.  It is a blessing to have a husband whose first interest is my happiness and comfort.  I will never understand how I got so lucky.

As far as the parents go, the Dads are both gone, but my Dad considered Mark a son and taught him how to build stuff and fix cars and plumbing.  Mark’s Dad considered me a daughter and was always good to me and always made sure that my mother-in-law kept Fig Newtons in the house for me.  For a year after he died, they tasted like sawdust and I couldn’t eat them.  Almost two years later, they once in a while taste like Newtons.  I’ve pretty much switched to Vanilla Oreos at their house though.  The Figs will never be the same.

The Moms are still here.  My mom is suffering from some flavor of dementia.  The specific type is really not all that important as it is six of one, half a dozen of another.  But I CAN say that she always considered Mark a son and once she got over the shock of my defiance, she let it all go and things have been fine.  In the last couple of years, since my Dad is gone, she likes Mark better than me and that is ok.  My mother-in-law treats me like a daughter.  She helps me quilt and we laugh together and talk regularly.  She knows now, that I’m a good girl and I always was.  She realizes that I make her son happy and we have the same kind of relationship that she and Grandpa had.   We are good friends and it makes me happy.

We have two beautiful, smart children that make our lives complete. Without them, I don’t think either of us would be able to breathe.  They are the greatest blessing that God has ever decided to grace us with.

I wrote all this down, because a friend of mine asked me where I found him and are there any more of him running around.  I found him when I wasn’t looking, at the mall.  In a bunny suit.  Two years younger than me, getting ready to leave for the Air Force.  Improbable on every single front, but we made the right choice.  In spite of everyone’s doubts and best efforts, we did it anyway and have never looked back.  The old wives tale is true.  Happy is the bride the sun shines on.   Thanks for reading all this peeps 🙂

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I Married The Easter Bunny Part VIII – The Planning

The very next day after blowing up at me for being engaged my mother quit trying to talk me out of it.  She wasn’t happy or particularly helpful, passive aggressive is probably an accurate term for her attitude.  To her credit, she only threw one more tantrum during the whole rest of the engagement.  When she asked when we planned to have the wedding and I told her October, she lost it.  It was only four months away, I’d miss Christmas etc, etc.  So I talked to Mark and we agreed to put it off til January.

The next few months should have been fun, but overall, they were not.  My parents offered to give us money and skip the wedding.  At first I agreed, re-arranged my plans, then changed my mind back.

No one seemed happy for us but us.  His side was unhappy because we didn’t want kids there and because we weren’t going to play country music.  There was a minor flap over the food and the location of the reception and I’m pretty sure they didn’t like my veil, which I showed them in an effort to include them in the bride side of things.  The rehearsal dinner was also an issue.  We wanted it one place, they wanted it another.  They won because they were paying and because they didn’t want to do something more or different from they had done for their other son.

Things were even worse on my side.  My parents didn’t want to spend any money.  I bought a pretty dress, but it wasn’t remotely anything that I really wanted.  The only place I could have my reception was the American Legion Hall that my Dad belonged to because they were going to let us have it steeply discounted.  I didn’t want to have it there.  It reeked of cigarette smoke and reminded me of a bunch of old guys sitting around playing cards and dying Easter eggs for the annual Legion egg hunt.  I don’t remember what we were going to decorate the hall or the church with, I only remember that I had to do it myself.  The morning of the wedding.   I made the bouquets and we did not hire a florist.  The mother of a friend of my husband’s ran a catering company and wanted to do the food as a gift.  My mother-in-law told them one thing, we wanted something else.  I talked to the mom and worked out a new menu, but I felt weird about it.  I didn’t really trust the whole thing.  A friend of mine was going to DJ for us, but he seemed to be blowing me off.  We agreed to everything and planned it all and then I never heard from him again.  When I called to confirm a few days before, he almost seemed to have forgotten.  I had to go over all the songs and timing and everything again and he seriously didn’t seem to know any of it.  Again, I felt weird about things and didn’t really trust the situation.

The only thing I really liked was my cake.  It was a huge multi-cake extravaganza with bridges and a lighted fountain and mounds of frosting flowers.  It was beautiful and cost more than my dress.

We went out and bought a cake topper, cutting knives, a guest book, garter and all the other paraphernalia a wedding needed, but everything felt wrong.  The girls would have beautiful dresses and the guys would be handsome in their tuxedos.  My mother made her dress.  She wouldn’t spend the money to buy one.  My mother-in-law wouldn’t wear a long dress.  No one, and I mean no one would cooperate.  Even when I tried to get my husband to help me, he just said whatever you want is fine.  Just do it and tell me when and where to show up.  None of it was fun and I was worried about all of it.  I was alone.

We should have taken the money and run, but I just had to have a wedding…