Tag Archives: Malls

I Married The Easter Bunny Part IV

The next three and a half months were miserable.  It quickly became apparent to everyone except AH, that B was going out with him for no other reason than to hurt yours truly.

They would come to the mall and walk up and down across the center court from the info booth holding hands and laughing and kissing.  I did my best to ignore it, but I watched every move from under my bangs.  Apparently, my lack of a reaction spurred her to greater action.  Suddenly, they started frequenting the jewelry store right next to my desk.  She would try on engagement rings and hold her arm up as high as it would stretch and squeal with extremely loud delight at the sparkle as she wiggled her fingers.  He just stood there like a big dope while she preened and shot not so subtle side glances in my direction.

Their next stop was the art store just across from me, where she would point out paintings high up on the walls and gesticulate wildly while apparently explaining where said mall artwork would hang in their future home.  Again, he stood by, smiling once in a while, but not really reacting.  I think he was finally catching on because I noticed him starting to look my way.  He was twenty-five years old for God’s sake, it took him long enough…

A couple of my mall friends, bless their shoe selling hearts, started trying to help.  They knew who the two of them were, so my handsome shoe-boy friends started appearing out of nowhere to flirt and laugh and touch my arm whenever they saw the AH and his B show up.  What those two didn’t know was that one of them was married and the other one was gay.  They were just trying to help, and not long after the boys began to intervene, the hurtful mall visits came to an abrupt end.

Since AH must have realized that they were being bullies and refused to come to the mall anymore, they suddenly began showing up very publicly around town.  I’d see them at the gas station, she’d look up and see me in my car and be overcome with a fit of uncontrollable passion and literally LEAP into his arms and start kissing him.  It was nauseating and I was moving past hurt to pissed off.  Then one day, I saw her in her ex-boyfriend’s car outside the bank kissing HIM passionately.  Then I saw her driving his car.  Then I saw her with the AH again.  I realized I was no longer hurt OR angry, I had become indifferent.  I no longer cared.  If he was that stupid, I didn’t want him anyway.  I just hoped that when the idiot finally realized he’d been used, that he’d have a painful moment or two over the stupid mistake he’d made.

Another thing I realized was that I no longer cared about boys.  I was finished.  I realized that at some point, I would date, but I would NEVER allow anyone to get that close to me again.  It had been my experience that they always disappointed you.  They either waited too long to do what they said they would do, or they got overly possessive and jealous and cut you off from everyone but them or they lied and cheated and were stupid.  I decided that from that moment forward, it would be my way or the highway and the highway would be an easy choice  because I was never getting emotionally attached to a male ever again.

About halfway through March, I began to find out how wrong I was about that.

I Love The Mall and I Will NOT Be Ashamed

I went to the mall yesterday.  I needed to get a new coat and a couple of Christmas presents and a tuxedo shirt for my daughter to wear with her  band uniform.  Before I go any further, do you know that a stupid tuxedo shirt retails for 75.00???  Seriously.  I got some discounts, so it only cost me 50$, but this weekend, I’m going to the thrift store.  I kept my receipt.

So anyway…I went to Macy’s.  Now, I LOVE Kohl’s and Target and JcPenney and Walmart et.al., but there is something special about the mall.  Maybe it’s the shiny Christmas decorations and the music, or maybe it’s the smell of expensive THINGS, I’m not sure, but the mall is kinda heavenly.  In fact, I think it should be capitalized.  The Mall.  Yep, that seems more right.  They have more beautiful clothes. Real leather shoes. Real leather purses, wallets and belts.  Wool coats. Sparkly jewelry.  Martha Stewart homegoods. Lancome.  If you want really good makeup, go to the Mall.  “They” can tell you that Walgreen’s makeup is just as good, but you know what?  “They” lie.  “They” tell you that, so that when you are broke and have to buy your stuff at the drugstore, you feel better about it and you know I’m speaking the truth.  I bought expensive face powder and got a sample of some kind of collagen face cream stuff, I’ve used it twice and I swear to you, as GOD is my witness, I look better all ready.  I’ve been using some Fructise stuff from Walmart for the last several years and it has done NOTHING.

One other good thing about the Mall?  In these dark days of slow economic collapse, stores like Macy’s are starting to offer deals that make them seem more like Kohl’s.  I got a 145$ wool coat for 54 bucks.  It was a one day sale and if I had gotten there before one, I could’ve used a ten dollar off coupon and only paid 44$, but you get my point.  Do you know what they did with my cheap coat?  They left it on the hanger and put a plastic garment bag over it and tied the bottom.  They didn’t wad it up and shove it in a crappy plastic bag.  My other clothing purchases were likewise folded and placed nicely in their bag, again, not grabbed in a pile and shoved in, actually honest to God folded in a nice little package.  By the salesperson, not by me.

And oh yeah, speaking of crappy plastic bags,  the department stores at the mall have shopping bags.  You remember those from your childhood right?  Large PAPER bags with little twisted paper handles that you can put multiple purchases in?  Bags that will stand up on their bottoms when you are paying for something else without sliding over and spilling your goods all over the floor?  Bags that make you feel kind of cool and excited?  Remember those?  They still have them.  It’s kind of the bag version of a restaurant where you sit down and eat THEN pay as opposed to the places where you stand in line, pay first and THEN get to eat.

My point in talking about this I guess, is that although people will tell you that buying “stuff” is bad and selfish and all that bossy crap, buying “stuff” is actually fun.  It is even MORE fun when it is on sale, and when it comes from the Mall, and when  you take it home in a real, honest to God shopping bag.

Happy consumering friends !! 🙂