Tag Archives: cats

Cat Races

So apparently, my ten-year old son turned into a bookie this morning.  He decided to launch the first annual Mother’s Day Cat Races at our house.  We have three cats, he assigned himself, my daughter and my husband a cat to “train,” collected bets, which he wrote down on some kind of weird paper, and gave me the job of standing in the kitchen and shaking the cat food to get them to run.  For some strange reason, we all cooperated, and it was hilarious.

Bella

Bella, is a small, delicate little tortoise-shell kitty.  She is kind of hyper and loves my husband with a strange, obsessive intensity.  So Hubs was her trainer.

Blue

Blue is a huge, fat Garfield of a cat.  He is a gray and white tuxedo mutt who flops down at random intervals when hauling all that chub around gets to be too much.  The Girl was assigned this bundle of endless energy.

Tigger, the sink dweller

 Tigger is the latest rescuee who we found in a glass case at Petsmart.  He is orange and supposedly a Maine Coon, which based on his size (big, but not fat like SOME people) and luxurious hair seems to be accurate.  He is a momma’s boy, and is marginally afraid of my son who made himself Tigger’s trainer.

Since Tigger will run down the main hall of our house, but then makes a sharp right and hides behind the couch when he hits the family room, the edge of the family room was the finish line.  Monkey Boy downloaded a megaphone app on his iPad and made a big long announcement on it and a ready, set, go 3-2-1 thing and they were off.  As soon as I heard him say go, I started pouring food into their bowls.  Tigger, who wanted nothing more than to get away from my son, took off at warp speed, Blue who is always interested in food was hot on his heels and Bella, who is in love with Hubs, ran because she was initially startled and then turned back to look for her Daddy.  In the end, it was Tigger by a length and a duck behind the couch due to the horror of being held for a while by Monkey Boy and Blue of course, was the first one to the kitchen and the promise of delicious kitty kibble.

I came to several conclusions during this fantastic, new, annual Mother’s Day event.  First, my son is even more clever than I thought he was.  First, he chose the cat that is afraid of him and will do whatever is necessary to get away, figuring out that said cat would also be the fastest due to fear.  Second, my son also has a brilliant future as a business man or maybe a politician or organized crime boss due to his ability to scheme, take bets and generally get people to participate in things they don’t really feel like doing, but in the end they enjoy on some level.  Third, fear, or food, gets things done faster than love because the one in love with her trainer had no desire to leave him, only turn and gaze at him with adoration.

Now that the first annual races are done, I think we should expand and invite in other cats and trainers next year.  We could charge an entry fee and take a percentage of the bets for the house.  Awwww SNAP!!  Maybe Monkey Boy doesn’t have to be a crime boss all by himself!!  Is there such thing as The Godmother?  I can put my fingertips together and mutter “I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse,” just as well as Don Vito Corleone did.  Yessss, I can see it now, a Cat Race empire…

Happy Mother’s Day friends, be kind to one another 🙂

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The Ghost Cat Has a Friend

I’m not obsessed with ghosts or anything, they just seem to be occupying a lot of my time lately.  So, light a fire, throw an afghan over your legs and cozy up for another horrifying ghost story.

Once upon a time, two families of friends went on a vacation together to South Dakota.  This intrepid crew stopped at a ghost town that had been used in movies to sight-see and have lunch in an old train car.  There were cats in the area and while my memory is a little iffy for the details, I’ll recount the tale as best I can.  There was a noise, or a meow or something and not a single one of those varmints was visible.  The Dad of one of the families said somthing like, “You have to jump up and down and spin around three times so the ghost cat can’t follow you home.”  The Mom of the other family laughed and said, “I’ll take my chances.”  THAT brave reader was a mistake.

Fast forward a few years to June 27, 2011.  That foolish Mom was making dinner for her family.  It was a lovely dinner of roast beef, mashed potatoes, green beans and crescent rolls.  This Mom uses real butter in her cooking, so she opened the last new box of butter that she had, took one stick out to use in the potatoes and on the rolls and made a mental note that the three sticks that were left were more than enough to make the frosting for her son’s birthday cake the next day and for any general uses the family would have until she could get to the grocery store.

The next day, the family went fishing.  It was a last minute decision, and an important cake needed to be made, but the Mom decided to go ahead and go with her family and make the cake when she got home.  The family had a wonderful time and the little boy caught 13 tiny blue gills.  When they got home, the Mom got in the refrigerator to get out a stick of butter to soften for the frosting while she made the cake.  She looked high and low, in the fridge drawers and in the dairy thingy on the door.  She couldn’t find the butter!  She called her husband and said, “While I put the cake together, could you please look for the butter?  There are three sticks in the box.  I’ve looked and I can’t find it and I really need to get this cake made.”  So he looked.  He looked high and low, in the drawers and in the dairy thingy on the door.  He couldn’t find it either!!  He asked the Mom if she was sure about the butter.  She said absolutely, and went through the entire story again.  “Well, if you remember it that well, you can’t be mistaken.”

This always thinking Dad started looking in the garbage can.  The empty butter box was in the garbage!  It was laying on TOP of some papers that the Mom had thrown away that morning before the fishing trip!  He looked for the papers that would’ve been wrapped around the butter sticks.  They were not there.  He questioned the children.  They knew nothing.  The Mom and Dad snuck around the house looking for abandoned butter stick papers in the kid’s rooms, behind couches, in office trash cans.  NOTHING!!  The Mom in her very smart way pointed out that whoever had taken the butter and thrown away the box had done so AFTER the family went fishing.  The mystery gets even deeper here.  No one else has keys to the family’s house, so the only logical explanation is that a GHOST had taken the butter and eaten it or used it to get back through the portal to the other realm because the butter was completely and totally absent and gone from the house.

SO, the Ghost Cat who obviously followed this poor family home, brought a friend and waited stealthily like cats are know to do, until the family sort of forgot about him and when they least expected it, he whipped out his friend, THE BUTTER GHOST to terrorize these innocent people.

Moral of the story?  Next time someone tells you that you have to do a fancy and public dance to ward off a ghost, you’d better do it, because they bring friends.    MWUHAHAHAHHhaaaaa……

I realize how terrorizing this tale is, and I would like to tell you that it is not true, unfortunately, it is 100% true.  Ghost Cat dance and disappearing butter and all.  I’m sorry if you now have to sleep with your lights on…