I’m pretty sure I’ve established that I am politically incorrect. If you’ve read earlier posts, you’ll know that I let my kids ride bikes helmet-less, they play with knives and soap bars and I let them play in the mud. The newest offense that I engage in is telling them they are good-looking.
I really need to stop reading news and scientific studies. The latest thing I read is how it is probably not good to tell your small daughters that they are pretty BLAH, BLAH, BLAHHHHHH…..
I tell my daughter that she is pretty. She is. I tell my son that he is handsome. He is. I also tell them that they are smart, that they have amazing reasoning skills and that they are kind. I tell them when I’m proud and I tell them that they are capable of doing or being anything they WANT to do or be. If I don’t tell them those things who will?? The kid in the next desk at school? I don’t think so. That kid is more likely to look at them and say, take your pick, “you’re weird, you’re stupid, you’re to0 fat/skinny/tall/short, you’re annoying, you’re boring, your butt is flat/fat/wide/narrow, you can’t play sports. To that kid, I say, look in the mirror kid, what bounces off me sticks to you, or whatever that phrase is.
I was watching that twenty-five year-long afternoon pass-time, Oprah, a couple of years ago and saw Maria Shriver talking about her parents. She said that when she was growing up, her parents lavished her with praise. They told her she was beautiful and smart and they told her when they were proud and basically, they instilled self-confidence in her. They didn’t rely on school, or other kids, or other people to make their daughter feel good about herself. THEY gave her the confidence that she needed to succeed in the world, and from what I can tell, they did a good job. She is successful, she seems to be a good mother and she has the strength to dump her cheating, baby daddy asshole of a husband.
I’m not saying that I don’t discipline my kids or that everything they do or say is cute or good. They can be real stinkers at times and I let them know about it, but I also tell them how wonderful they are, because 99% of the time, they ARE wonderful. If their father and I don’t tell them how awesome they are who will? If they don’t think that their parents think they can be great, how will they know to try?
So, when my daughter makes videos to post on You Tube, or my son makes his 4,359th soap dragon with that sharp, sharp knife, you can bet your boots I’ll tell them how talented they are and that they should keep going. And oh yeah, they look pretty doing it too 🙂